A spiritual task, an impulsion to through music tell the story of moments passing you by, the longing to live and die at the same time, to always be both among and in flames.
I'm still down at the ocean sometimes
Wondering where you went
And what you were, it's safe to say
There was something more about you, pulling me up
I can't put my finger on, but I want you to know
I kept a piece of my heart for myself
In a place where it is, like they say
Dark but not black
I know it was not you who told me to do what I did
But I just thought you wanted to know
The look on your face when I cut it out
Is the only one I can clearly recall
Blurred, the least to say, is all the rest
For this too shall pass, as the world floats away
Forgive me if I got something wrong
I'm in a different place now
Things here did not work out the way I wish they had
But this time I know it's my own fault
And that helps, since I know where to start
What to change, what to beat into the ground
I still repeat the same words given to me so long ago
But they're becoming washed out, worn and faded, void of their original meaning
Soon they're bled dry, them too
Like all else
If only I could to talk to you one last time
I find such trouble in
Trying to recall why I do this
And something tells me you knew
But it brings me back to
The last thing you told me
“I'm not the one to save you”
I suppose you made it clear
I wish everything that held me down for all this time
To have an opposite, an antimatter
That eventually will carry me to heaven
That is what I pray for
And that is what I prayed for
(Everyday)
But it's been eleven years
And I can't take eleven more
So I'll restart
By digging out the last of my heart
And leaving it here for you
(Lord, I'm so lost)
And since I never knew how to be human
(Help me find my way)
She will be my aid
(My prayer is for you)
And I have to be sure
(My loving guide)
That my loathing was just
(My beacon)
The ambivalence of insecurity to commit
(My tree)
But I know now that's how it should be
(Father, father)
How should I be?
I think I always believed
My dreams were never built to hold
But I know that I killed them all on my own
After tonight
Rebuild me from scratch